Step 1: Save money. Yea i get it. Obviously. Really save money though, set yourself a goal. Goals are important parts of life, aiming for something gives your impressive but confused human brain a purpose. Meeting these goals gives you the sort of dopamine hit that a glass of red wine does at the end of a 14 hour work day.
Step 2: Move in with your parents, quit your job: Moving in with you parents can have all sorts of benefits throughout your travels.
Firstly, reminding them what a wonderful child they have created makes them feel accomplished and more likely to post your bail when you end up in an overseas prison. Lose your credit card? Call mum and remind her about the lasagne you cooked on the 2nd of April 2018 (Taking notes of good deeds really lets you get to the point).
living for 12 weeks without paying rent in a different house gives the illusion that your holiday has already started.
Step 3: Get a credit card. Yea yea yea, what looney would willingly subject themselves to the merciless banking system which profits from other people’s debts and bad self-control. Well that’s what I said to a pair of exasperated ocean blue eyes belonging to Charlie, right before she said ‘we are applying for one tomorrow anyway’ and that was that.
Honestly, only spend what you have, or will have in 3 days. Get that ‘free but technically not free travel insurance’ and step off the plane with the assurance that when 3 am comes around and you’re in a dark alley with 3 silhouettes asking you for your card, you can happily pass it on with the peace of mind that your bank isn’t about to go bust. Nor will you. Win Win.
Step 4: Remind yourself that $800 worth of travel shots really might be the difference between Typhoid, Yellow fever and hepatitis.
Step 5: Go to the local District Factory Outlet. Spend as little money as you can on new gear (It will be a lot of money). Preferably this should include all the tech you need: computer, camera, chargers, headphones and all those fun things. You will also need a backpack, flashlight, hiking shoes (let’s all pretend that we will be proper travelers and go hiking ALL the time) and obviously a rain/wind jacket. The real essentials though, are; Sunnies, bathers and Levi’s shorts 😉
We are pretty much ready to go at this point…
Step 6: Say F*uck it and go!!!